Overeating and strong cravings often happen as a result of restrictive eating habits.
What is restrictive eating?
Restrictive eating means eating habits that limit either the amount of food or the types of food you eat.
Refusing to eat certain foods isn’t always problematic. Think vegans and people with health conditions such as celiac disease for example. But when the reasons aren't clear, restrictions are a slippery slope that can lead to more serious issues.
How restrictive eating habits changed everything for me
My personal experiences with food restrictions started around my exchange year in Brazil.
To give you some context; a Brazilian host family opened their home to me and I lived with them for the year. It was an amazing experience which I’m forever grateful for. As a guest in their home and family, I ate what they served me. For 99% of the time it was great, I absolutely love Brazilian food!
But, my host family had very healthy and sensible eating habits. There was a very limited amount of indulging or snacking going on in the house. I know this sounds great and healthy, but it was different from what I was used to. Back home I was used to snacking whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Living with people with very different habits, I didn’t want to stand out. Basically, I was controlling my cravings for sweets, treats and other foods that my host family didn’t eat.
In Brazil there seems to always be a reason to celebrate something. We often attended parties and other events where delicious food was very present. Because I felt deprived of treats in my usual routines, I had zero control around food in these events. Each time felt like a special occasion that I needed to take advantage of. Who knew when would be the next time I got to indulge? Needless to say, I ate everything. And a lot of it.
This kind of behaviour was the main reason for my second issue: I gained 7 kilos during the year. The weight gain itself wasn't a problem. The problem was that other people were suddenly commenting on my body. Comments were mostly about how big my butt had gotten and how my stomach was bigger than before. The tone was always humorous and the comments were made with a smile, but it didn’t make them any nicer to hear. The underlying message was clear: the changes in my body were not good.
So I tried to change my body.
I picked up habits to try and lose weight. Some were unhealthy ones such as skipping meals. Some were healthy ones such as adding more exercise into my days. Looking back now, I realise I did all that with the wrong intentions.
I skipped meals because I didn’t think I deserved food. I exercised because I didn’t like my body and desperately wanted it to change. I even picked the type of exercise based on what would burn the most calories (according to Google). These were all based on the idea that there was something wrong with my body that needed fixing. These were all coming from a place of self hate, and not self love. This is exactly what made this so harmful.
Restrictions lead to overeating
When I got back home from Brazil in January 2011 I was determined to lose all my “exchange kilos” quickly. I was running regularly, I joined a gym and started to control my eating. I was tightly restricting my energy intake in my attempts to get my body to return to the way it was before.
What I didn’t realise, was that I was repeating the same cycle of restrictive eating habits that had led to my weight gain. Trying to stick to an unrealistically low daily energy intake made me binge eat. I would follow my diet perfectly for a week or so, and then completely lose all control and eat thousands of calories in one sitting.
This is exactly what makes restrictions such a terrible idea.
Restrictions are not long term strategies. They are unsustainable plans that set you up for failure. Most people can start off strong, but as time goes on the urge to eat the forbidden food or more food than you allow yourself to, becomes too great to resist. When you finally reach the limit of your willpower and give in, you tend to go completely overboard with it. You overeat or overindulge with the food you were not supposed to eat and end up feeling extreme levels of guilt and shame. You blame yourself for failing and for being undisciplined.
These were exactly the feelings that made me repeat the cycle of restrictions and overeating over and over again.
Overeating and strong cravings often happen because of food restrictions. But, they do not happen because you are “weak” or “lack discipline” or have “low motivation”. They happen because the body wants to maintain homeostasis (in simple terms: balance). If you are restricting your energy intake, homeostatic mechanisms kick in to keep your body fat within an ideal range for optimal function. Trying to hold on to restrictions means you are fighting a losing battle against your own physiology.
How you can build healthier habits around food without restrictions
1. Become more MINDFUL of your eating
What is your relationship with food like?
What kind of emotions do you have around food and eating?
Do you usually eat because you are hungry or for other reasons?
How are your current eating habits working for you?
These may sound like some weird woo woo, but creating a lasting change in any area of life starts by becoming aware of your current situation. It is important to be familiar with your own thoughts, emotions, patterns and behaviours. Only after we are familiar with them, we can work on building new ways.
2. SLOW DOWN during meals
Slowing down helps you to be aware of your emotional and physical cues around eating. It can help you notice if the reason why you are eating is connected to emotions. It gives you time to notice when you’ve had enough to eat and it’s time to stop.
3. Build BALANCE around food
Allow yourself to eat everything you want to eat. Don’t make any foods off limits. Focus on indulging with moderation. This could look like having a cookie everyday after dinner or meeting a friend for a cake date every week. Life can (and should!) be enjoyed.
What my eating looks like today
During the past 10 years I have eaten in many different ways. I've used countless different strategies, and followed many different diets. I have done keto and paleo, I have had “cheat days” and “cheat meals”, I’ve tracked all my food intake, I’ve followed meal plans.
What I find helpful for me and the people that I work with, is being mindful and aware around food.
I don’t restrict myself or have strict rules around eating.
I eat slowly and pay attention to feelings of hunger and satiety. I eat when I’m hungry, and I stop eating when I’m full.
I notice if I want to eat because I’m bored or because I want to feel good.
If I feel like having a treat, I treat myself in moderation and with all my attention and heart.
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